What Writers Can Learn from Baristas
Names, recognition, and the kind of marketing that actually matters.
Dearest Writer,
There’s a new coffee shop near my work that’s become my favorite hangout spot. When I have freelance jobs with other writers, I have them meet me there. When I want to write in a quiet space, my favorite table is always waiting. And when I just need a good cup of coffee and my go-to turkey pesto sandwich, I head five minutes down the road to this cozy little shop.
Even though I’m only there every few weeks, I didn’t think anyone who worked there had noticed me. That is, until this week, when they started using my name.
It began with a to-go box.
“Here you go, Crissi.”
I figured maybe they saw my name on the order. But nope—she just remembered.
Then, as I was leaving, another barista called out, “See you soon, Crissi!”
The clincher was on a follow-up visit when I said I’d have “my usual,” and the girl behind the counter replied, “The turkey pesto, right?”
You guys. I felt so dang seen.
There’s something powerful about hearing your own name. It’s the most personal thing about you. Getting it right—spelling, pronunciation, the whole deal—builds trust and deepens connection. It adds a layer of intimacy to even the most casual encounter.
That one little gesture—the use of my name—took my loyalty to this place from strong to unshakable.
It got me thinking about connection in the context of being an author. Not long ago, I wrote about my frustrations with social media marketing and how invisible I sometimes feel when my posts don’t gain traction.
Since then, I’ve taken some time to reflect—especially on who I’m marketing to.
The answer? Everyone. And also… no one.
When I toss a post out on Instagram or Facebook, I’m usually hoping to catch the eye of new readers—people who don’t yet know who I am. That includes book teases, reels, excerpts, progress updates… all of it. And while those posts serve a purpose, they often feel like I’m shouting into the void.
They aren’t personal. There’s no built-in reason for anyone to respond. They’re just there—and then they’re gone.
But the posts that do matter? The ones that create connection. The ones that spark conversation, offer inspiration, or invite real interaction.
My friend
recently wrote a blog post that put words to this idea perfectly.“Content isn’t bad—but most of it isn’t doing anything,” she wrote. “It’s just… there. And if I, someone who likes this stuff, am this bored, imagine how your audience feels.”
She then offered something that really stuck with me: make your content feel like a conversation.
You can read her full post here: Is Your Social Media Strategy Truly Engaging, or Just Filling Space?
A few months ago, I made a simple post spotlighting a bookstagrammer I admire, encouraging others to follow her. It wasn’t a big deal—just a quick appreciation post. But she was so grateful, and since then we’ve been exchanging messages and building a genuine connection.
More recently, I sent my book to another bookstagrammer who had just lost her father. It wasn’t a marketing strategy—it was a gesture of care. That one kind act turned into a meaningful dialogue between us. Something real. Something lasting.
Some of my favorite ways to connect are to comment on other people’s posts—not as a way to draw attention to myself, but to truly connect with what they are sharing about. Just a simple comment can turn into a lasting connection with someone who feels less and less like a stranger on the internet, and more like a friend.
And honestly? That kind of connection means so much more to me than a thousand likes on a reel ever could.
So that’s where I want to shift my focus: to the names behind the screens. The one-on-one connections. The real people. The conversations that go beyond likes and views, and into the territory of “I see you.”
Like what happened at the coffee shop.
All it took was using my name.
Until the next chapter,
Crissi
P.S. What are your seen moments? What are you doing to connect with readers and fellow writers? Comment below or send me a note!
I don’t just write love letters, I also write love stories. Find them all here.
Currently:
📖 Reading: Say You’ll Remember Me ~ Abby Jimenez
🎧 Listening to: Bon Iver’s Sable, Fable on repeat
✍️ Writing/Editing: The Jilted Lovers Club (getting closer to done!)
☕ Mood: Initiating weekend mode…
I LOVE this. I always notice when people remember my name. It means so much to me. It’s always been my dream to have a small circle that connects deeply and supports loyally.