Funny Thing...

Adventures in school fundraisers for other people's children.

Feb 19, 2023

I live next door to a family of 7 crammed into a 3-bedroom home, with kids ranging from 6-18. They’ve been there for about ten years, and it’s been an experience. Let’s just say, the kids’ favorite ways to show aggression is to kick the shared wall between our homes. Super fun.

That said, I have watched these kids grow up, and they hold a special place in my heart. The oldest has sat at my kitchen table while he struggled through math. The 4 oldest kids have parked it on my living room floor in front of a Disney movie while their mom got a break with her then newborn. My son saved the mom and these kids from a traveling spider who lost its way in their kitchen. And every year at Halloween, they are one of the few families who come to our door (we have an old neighborhood), and I give them each handfuls of candy. The one Halloween I kept the lights off, they banged on my door until I finally had to give in and give them sodas (since I had no candy).

So you can imagine when their schools hold fundraisers, I am the first person they hit up—because I’m a sucker and will always say yes.

A few weeks ago, the second to youngest, we’ll call him Jay, knocked on my door with another one of these fundraising events. This time it was for Valentine’s chocolate, and I really, really, really did not want any. I was literally digesting the pancakes from his sister’s breakfast fundraiser, and also remembering the candy apples I bought from him the month before. Plus, I’d been failing on my diet thanks to a very food prosperous holiday and birthday season. So the last things I needed was a box of chocolates, since I would likely eat all of them.

Naturally, I handed over a $20 bill for a teeny tiny box of chocolates.

Valentine’s Day came, and I had still not received my unwanted box of chocolates. I had a stinking suspicion that A) the kid never turned in the order form and now had a free $20, or B) he was now enjoying my box of chocolates.

But $20 is $20, so I texted the mom that morning. Her response: “I’ll check with Jay,” which is kind of a funny response because as a parent, don’t you know about your kids’ fundraisers? I’ve definitely had my absent minded moments as a mom, but the way schools bombard you with notes about fundraisers, they’re kind of hard to miss.

At any rate, evening rolls around, and still no chocolates. So I text again. Crickets. But an hour later, Jay shows up at my door with a box of chocolates.

“Funny thing,” he starts, then launches into a story about how my money and someone else’s were mysteriously stolen from the envelope before he could turn in the money.

Right.

Long story long, the mom booked it to the store on Valentine’s Day night and bought one of the last boxes of chocolates left.

I think from now on, I’ll just hand the kid a $20 donation for whatever instead of expecting something in return. Because, you know, it would be too logical to just say no.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a box of chocolates to eat, since I will think about them forever until they’re gone.

What I’m writing

This week, one of the board members of the HOA community I work for asked me how my writing was going. The week before, he’d asked about my books in front of a bunch of people, and mentioned they should be required reading for members. To this, I kind of laughed it off but was dying a little inside, because the members of this community are older and might not appreciate some of my steamier scenes. For example, I’d recently been the guest author at a senior book club, and was there while they tore it apart for being a bodice ripper (which it’s not). You can read about that experience here.

That said, the books I’m currently writing ARE so-called “bodice rippers,” and if that book club reacted that way over my more innocent books, I can just imagine the response to my upcoming books. I can pretty much guarantee the members here are not my audience.

“What kind of romance books are they?” the board member continued. “Regular romance, or is it steamy romance?”

I told him it was steamy romance, and I braced myself for judgment. But then we had the most normal of conversations about how great steamy romance is, and while he doesn’t read it, there’s an audience for it, and so on.

It was cool.

What was also cool was how I lit up when he asked me about my writing, because I AM writing. I have been on a roll the past few weeks, and it feels so damn good to be working on this book. I love how the story is shaping up, and I’m getting excited as I near the end of the story. This one won’t be released until the end of this year, at the earliest, but I am very excited for you to read it.

If you want a sneak peek, I shared a short excerpt in my last post, or you can read it at my website.

What I’m NOT writing

That tattoo article I mentioned a few weeks ago. I don’t know what happened, but I’m experiencing a little bit of imposter syndrome and social anxiety around this article, and I think it’s because I’m still not clear on my direction. I have 1,000 words to fill on trends for women in tattoos, upkeep of tattoos, and so on, and none of it seems strong enough.

That said, this week I will work through my anxieties and interview the people I’ve contacted, and then I’ll write the damn article. No more procrastinating!

What I’m reading

Since it was Valentine’s Day, I shared a last minute post on Instagram and Tiktok about books to read whether you’re in love or down on love. Of course, romance books are great for every day of the year. So if you’re looking for some books to read, see a few of them above, or click the social media links for a few more.

What I’m listening to

Emmit Fenn is one of my favorite music artists. I probably listen to his music every day, since his songs exist on most of my Spotify playlists. So imagine my surprise this week when I came across an album he released a few years ago that I hadn’t given a lot of play. I have been listening to this album on repeat while I’m writing, and it’s been the perfect background music.

What I’m obsessed with

Emily in Paris.

I missed the bandwagon on this one, and I finally caved this week. Where the hell have I been??? This is the cutest, most feel good show ever. It’s been the perfect escape, especially when I get stuck in dark feelings, because how can you feel dark when Lily Collins turns up the charm?

Oh, and her fashion! I am obsessed with every outfit she wears and how dang cute she is wearing them. This week, I even broke my Frugal February and bought my own stiletto boots, completely influenced by Emily in Paris couture.

Maybe with my fancy shoes, I’ll start my own Instagram channel: Midlife in Petaluma.

It could work.